SayHelloDarling

whatshouldwecallclarinet:

…why do i feel so down?

And that honestly makes me so sad. It hurts and I feel sick kind of sad. I’m trying to shake it and think “it’s just a show” or “it’ll work out” but… I feel stupid being so down about it. I can’t explain it.

Encore was my inspiration to a professional music career and I consider it a huge part of my musicianship. It’s like trying to go back home and being denied. “Sorry, we’re only letting 4 in. But you’re first on the waiting list!”

I don’t want to be on the waiting list. I want to be welcomed home.

her-morningelegance:

I’d like to tell my parents about my plans for the future and not feel any shame. I don’t think pursuing any of my interests will ever make them proud.

1) That’s probably more asian child syndrome than middle child syndrome. 
2 and the supportive part) You’re going to do doing great things. They’re probably already more proud of you than you’ll ever know. But they’re your parents, so obviously letting you in on their secrets is a no go.
You know?

her-morningelegance:

“crush” is so aptly named.

Crush as in that feeling you get when you make her laugh and smile, when you’re so nervous you can’t even talk, when seeing her is the best part of your week.

Crush as in that feeling you get when she says she just wants to be friends.

accurate.

the thing is… you were the key.

you might not know it, but you changed my life in a really good way. and even if things don’t work out with us or even continue another day, you will still have been that key. and I wouldn’t ever want to take that back.

Believe what you will, but I refuse to believe a God of love would look down on me for loving a woman.

I refuse to be ashamed of my feelings for any human being if they are kind and pure. I cannot believe that these feelings should be kept a secret simply because they do not fit a specific mold. I appreciate that it seems you acknowledge homosexuality as an orientation is not a sin, but the idea that people who find themselves so oriented cannot know or express their love is ludicrous. Why would a loving God doom any creation of His to such an existence? 

Rules of celibacy should be the same for any followers. Intimacy between those in love should not be restricted or forbidden simply because of their sex. Expression of love, commitment to each other, should not be lessened because it is between two men or two women. People are people. I am not less because I love a woman. I am not more if I love a man. Love should be encouraged, expressed, and celebrated. 

The commandments say nothing about orientation. Please, do not imply that loving someone of the same sex breaks any commandment. Here’s a lamen’s terms listing as a refresher:

1) One God, love God

2) No idols

3) Do not take God’s name in vain

4) Keep holy the Sabbath

5) Honor your parents

6) Do not kill

7) Do not cheat

8) Do not steal

9) Do not lie

10) Do not envy

As you can see, restrictions on love are no where to be found in these rules, so do not condemn me claiming my love breaks the commandments. Clearly, it does not.

my portuguese teacher could write a book on how to alienate students. namely, me.

6B-1.006 Principles of Professional Conduct for the Education Profession in Florida.

3. Obligation to the student requires that the individual:    

• (g) Shall not harass or discriminate against any student on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, age, national or ethnic origin, political beliefs, marital status, handicapping condition, sexual orientation, or social and family background and shall make reasonable effort to assure that each student is protected from harassment or discrimination.

5. Obligation to the profession of education requires that the individual:

• (b) Shall not on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, age, national or ethnic origin, political beliefs, marital status, handicapping condition if otherwise qualified, or social and family background deny to a colleague professional benefits or advantages or participation in any professional organization. 

Sexual orientation is missing from the latter. Teachers can be denied benefits, advantages, and participation in professional organizations based on orientation.

This needs to change.

“I have a question….”

of course things could be better, but to me, right now, life is perfect.

…so call me ignorant, but here’s why I’m probama:

If I were to vote in the last election, I was going to vote for McCain. At the time I thought he had a better plan. This election though, I’m terrified at the possibility of Romney being in office.

National debt is high and the economy sucks. Great, we knew that already. That train has been barreling down the track before Obama was in office. So I’m not blaming that on him. What I am blaming on him is the hope his health care plans and personal values has given a lot of people. 

Re: Health Care. People complain “my hard work and money goes to people who don’t lift a finger!” Yeah, some of it might. But some of it also goes to people who really are honest and honestly are not fortunate enough to have a job with health care benefits, and can’t afford it on their own. Stop being so self-centered and give a little back to the world. If people dropped the paranoid attitude once in awhile (gasp, what if a homeless gay illegal gets help for his failing liver from too much drinking), I really think they’d be happier.

Re: Personal Values. This president is letting his beliefs shape his decisions. And in this case, THIS IS GOOD. His beliefs aren’t bigoted, from what I can see. He’s giving people chances without a chokehold. He’s letting minorities have rights! OH MY GOD WHERE DOES THE CRAZINESS END? Look, I realize I don’t know all the details. Everything has a flaw if you look for it. However, in the battle of bad idea vs worse idea, Romney’s is worse. Even if he fixes the economy (yeah, right), he has no place denying people rights so nearly attained. So maybe I’m biased, but rights for women, gays, and new grads are a bit important to me.

Someone argued to me that Romney is only saying those things to get the Tea Party votes. That he’s lying in his campaign and won’t really be like that in office. F’ing BS. Even if that’s true, …..just …..no.

Our story needs a happy ending. I don’t care if we’re broke. Morale and spirit is far more important than money. Americans need to get that.

so. much. panda. express.

Let me say also that I want you
sleepy-eyed in the morning waking at my side
like a warm summer sky born from
so much softness the horizon cries every time
night fall comes to take you.
Let me also say that I want to make you sandwiches and soup
and peanut butter cookies, though
the truth is peanut butter is really bad for you
cause they grow peanuts in old cotton fields
to get the toxins out of the soil
but hey, you like peanut butter and I like you.
Let me also say I’ve never seen anything more
gorgeous than you were that night
the moon bending through the window blinds
I told time by the light casting shadows across your face.

-Andrea Gibson, Wasabi 

get ready. my Tuesday?

morning & early afternoon: prep for the awesomeness to start at 3pm.

3pm: go pick up Tai

3:15: commence micro road trip

4:30: park at amphitheatere.

5ish: sushi at Hard Rock Cafe (sushi bar) of Tampa!

7ish: Get back to the amphitheatre.

7:30: BADASS JASON MRAZ CONCERT!!!!

After concert: Gaybor City shennanigans.

I’msoexcitedyouguysyoudontevenknow.

Just recorded “Crazy for You” using photobooth to see what is sounds like dropping the vocal part to a lower register, and now the program freezes any time I try to play it back. Program glitch or unbearable levels of epic-icity? I think we all know it’s the latter. ;)

the stars are unbelievable right now, and I wish I was looking at them with you. then again, even if I were, I probably wouldn’t be paying much attention to them anyway.

gottabeaviolist:

absolutely this.

so, slight confession… nbd…

I had no idea what was going on half the day because I was too busy learning every detail of the way you breathe.

I can’t believe I left my notebook at home. then again I guess it’s not a trip unless I forget something.

so I’m at the beach playing guitar having a perfect time and I’m thinking, I feel straight. as in, I would love to meet some random awesomely cool guy right about now because everything else seems so equally movie-esque. then I remember I am indeed not straight and even if said awesome guy came along it wouldn’t be like that cause, well, I don’t like guys.

then I caught a glimpse of my nails. I painted them sometime last week and they’re chipping—which I found to be perfectly analogous to who I am. Sometimes I get bored and paint my nails. having painted nails really isn’t me, but sometimes I do it just to change things up and it’s exciting for awhile. without fail, they chip within a day or so, and I don’t typically bother to do anything about it. anyway that’s me. I try things. I want to try many things. but I don’t keep up things for long that just aren’t me. going to the gym every day? not me. being a perfect student? nope. not me. dressing fashionably? you guessed it: not me. chipped nail polish? me. and I love it. because I’d rather have had painted my nails, enjoyed the experience, and still let myself show through than to have given up before I ever painted them because I knew it wouldn’t last.

also, I need to take these trips more often. this place is great, and it’s only an hour drive!

I realize this doesn’t make sense, but listening to Jason Mraz makes me like you exponentially more. I’m not sure why. It just does.

actively anti-gay people (actively anti-anyone people) make me legitimately sad :(

but they don’t clap for me, so onward. 

it’s like trying to light a wet log. it’s still a log, but it’s just not yet ready to ignite.